What was once excitment, is now fear. I just can't go, I'm nervous. I've never been nervous about the first day of school before, but now I'm terrifyed! I have butterflies in the pit of my stomach, but it isn't as pleasent as it normally would be.
I'm just nervous because I don't know what to do when I get there. I have a crippling fear of making mistakes, I know, bad Casey, but I can't help what scares me!
Oh, I just feel as if it's getting closer and closer by the second (which it is,) and I feel that it's too soon! I can't go! I want to try and calm myself down, but if you knew me, you'd know calming myself down isn't a talent of mine. In fact, I don't think I even have those natuarl calming abilities put in me. I'm very good a working myself up, though. I'm your typical drama-queen.
Off topic, sorry. Anyway, I'm just worried. The only way I can relax myslef is if I think that other people go through it too. The only way I can ever feel confident and strong is if A. I know I'm right, or B. If I know people have it worse than me. It's very selfish of me, I know. But it's the only thing that works.
Well, I think I'm ging to sleep, the sooner I sleep the better I'll feel, I hope.
Your's in fear,
Casey Lynn
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